Donald Trump said, "If you're going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big." I agree with his philosophy and suggest thinking big to my audiences when delivering keynotes on how to overcome fear and take risks. However, I've recently heard other speakers suggest that one shouldn't think big; instead, they advise to think small. The idea is that thinking big is too overwhelming and we need to take it one step at a time.
I'm open-minded; so rather than rejecting the notion, I sat with it for a few months trying to determine if, in fact, it's wiser to think small. I wondered: If everyone thought small, would air travel exist? Would corresponding via the Internet exist? I don't think you'd be reading this message right now if thinking smaller were the answer. So, I've decided to stick with my position: To achieve big things we must think big . . . and take small steps.
Think big when deciding what you want for your life. Think beyond the limits others have placed on you and those you've placed on yourself. Most limitations are only in your mind anyway. Then, with your greatest ambitions in mind, take small steps towards achieving those lofty goals.
Taken consistently over time, small steps will help you to achieve great things. Discipline yourself to take one small step each day toward achieving your greatest ambitions. One step at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, and before you know it those small steps will add up in a big way.
Whatever big thing you're trying to achieve, take one small step today towards making it happen. You really are capable of achieving whatever it is you most desire.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A Fruitful Journey to Coronation Street
I've just returned home from England and, as the taxi driver said to me and my sister as he drove us around Manchester and listened to our adventures, "It was a fruitful journey."
The impetus for this trip was an invitation to the set of Coronation Street by actor and fellow Hay House author William (Bill) Roache. Bill has starred as character Ken Barlow on Britain's best-loved soap opera, Coronation Street, for over 47 years. Needless to say, having Bill--the only original cast member on the show--show us around Granada Studios sure made for an entertaining and adventurous time!
The trip to the Coronation Street set was initially planned as a one-day event but when Bill picked us up at our hotel (The Victoria and Albert) on Wednesday, he said there weren't any actors in the studio that day. We quickly made plans to go again the following afternoon to watch a taping, but in the meantime, we'd have the studio to ourselves.
It was a huge blessing to have an empty studio on the first day. It gave me and my sister the incredible opportunity to "play" on the set and take loads of pictures. We sat on the couch with "Ken" in the Barlow living room, we "pulled pints" in the Rover's Return, sat at the sewing machines in Underworld, stood behind the counter in The Kabin, sat in the office of Street Cars, "talked" on the red phone at the Grimshaw residence, and walked along the famous cobblestones of Coronation Street. It was surreal and magnificent.
The next day, Bill once again walked over and picked us up from the hotel and we made our way back to Granada Studios to watch a scene being filmed. I won't give away what we saw because for fans of the show it would spoil the surprise. However, I will say that we met Liz McDonald (played by Beverley Callard), Jim McDonald (played by Charles Lawson), Steve McDonald (played by Simon Gregson), Deidre Barlow (played by Anne Kirkbride), Amy Barlow (played by Amber Chadwick), and Michelle Connor (played by Kym Ryder). They were incredibly friendly, funny, and charming. We also met Blanche Hunt (played by Maggie Jones) but not at the studio; we bumped into her in the restaurant of the hotel in which we were staying and had a wonderful chat.
During the second day, the producer--who was also very kind and sincere--invited us up to the production room to see how the camera shots are pulled together to create the final product. I'm telling you, as I sat in that room I felt blessed by the opportunity I'd been given and thankful to Bill for taking us around his workplace on his two days off!
Bill is an incredibly kind human being. I met him through my U.K. Hay House publicist during my trip to London, England back in July 2007. (My book CALM will be released in the U.K. on November 29, 2007.) When my publicist found out I was a fan of Coronation Street, she asked if I would read Bill's book "Soul on the Street" and provide a testimonial. I was more than happy to do so; it's a compelling book--an honest look at Bill's spiritual journey, which I found profoundly uplifting.
Anyhow, that's how I ended up in Manchester, England on the set of Coronation Street. I'm still in awe with the experience I've just had. It's a memory I'll treasure for the rest of my life. It truly was a fruitful journey.
By the way, if you're a fan of Coronation Street or just looking for an inspiring book to read, I recommend Bill's "Soul on the Street."
The impetus for this trip was an invitation to the set of Coronation Street by actor and fellow Hay House author William (Bill) Roache. Bill has starred as character Ken Barlow on Britain's best-loved soap opera, Coronation Street, for over 47 years. Needless to say, having Bill--the only original cast member on the show--show us around Granada Studios sure made for an entertaining and adventurous time!
The trip to the Coronation Street set was initially planned as a one-day event but when Bill picked us up at our hotel (The Victoria and Albert) on Wednesday, he said there weren't any actors in the studio that day. We quickly made plans to go again the following afternoon to watch a taping, but in the meantime, we'd have the studio to ourselves.
It was a huge blessing to have an empty studio on the first day. It gave me and my sister the incredible opportunity to "play" on the set and take loads of pictures. We sat on the couch with "Ken" in the Barlow living room, we "pulled pints" in the Rover's Return, sat at the sewing machines in Underworld, stood behind the counter in The Kabin, sat in the office of Street Cars, "talked" on the red phone at the Grimshaw residence, and walked along the famous cobblestones of Coronation Street. It was surreal and magnificent.
The next day, Bill once again walked over and picked us up from the hotel and we made our way back to Granada Studios to watch a scene being filmed. I won't give away what we saw because for fans of the show it would spoil the surprise. However, I will say that we met Liz McDonald (played by Beverley Callard), Jim McDonald (played by Charles Lawson), Steve McDonald (played by Simon Gregson), Deidre Barlow (played by Anne Kirkbride), Amy Barlow (played by Amber Chadwick), and Michelle Connor (played by Kym Ryder). They were incredibly friendly, funny, and charming. We also met Blanche Hunt (played by Maggie Jones) but not at the studio; we bumped into her in the restaurant of the hotel in which we were staying and had a wonderful chat.
During the second day, the producer--who was also very kind and sincere--invited us up to the production room to see how the camera shots are pulled together to create the final product. I'm telling you, as I sat in that room I felt blessed by the opportunity I'd been given and thankful to Bill for taking us around his workplace on his two days off!
Bill is an incredibly kind human being. I met him through my U.K. Hay House publicist during my trip to London, England back in July 2007. (My book CALM will be released in the U.K. on November 29, 2007.) When my publicist found out I was a fan of Coronation Street, she asked if I would read Bill's book "Soul on the Street" and provide a testimonial. I was more than happy to do so; it's a compelling book--an honest look at Bill's spiritual journey, which I found profoundly uplifting.
Anyhow, that's how I ended up in Manchester, England on the set of Coronation Street. I'm still in awe with the experience I've just had. It's a memory I'll treasure for the rest of my life. It truly was a fruitful journey.
By the way, if you're a fan of Coronation Street or just looking for an inspiring book to read, I recommend Bill's "Soul on the Street."
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Pay-it-Forward Birthday Funds
I've finally finished spending all of my pay-it-forward birthday money (the $60 that my friends gave to me to donate to the person or charity of my choice) and it was a blast! Once I'd finished spending the money, I realized there was a theme--kids:
$25 went to World Vision Canada to purchase one backpack with school supplies for a Canadian child who lives below the poverty line. According to World Vision Canada, one out of every six Canadian children lives in poverty. Did you have any idea the number was that high? I didn't.
$30 went again to World Vision Canada to purchase three soccer balls to provide school children in developing countries with the gift of play and sport.
$3.58 was spent at Tim Hortons on Camp Day. Profits made on Tim Hortons' Camp Day help send kids (who may otherwise not have the opportunity) to camp. I donated the first $2 of the $3.58 by tossing it into a bucket that a firefighter held out to those waiting in the drive-through line and I gifted the remaining $1.58 by purchasing a coffee for the stranger in the car behind me.
$20 (as I previously wrote in my June Life by Design E-Newsletter) was given to joggler Michal Kapral to acknowledge him for pursuing his joggling passion and to encourage him to take another shot at regaining the world record title—which he'll be doing this September. How does Michal--a grown man--fit into my kid theme? After receiving the money, Michel sent me an email saying that joggling is his way of keeping some of the imagination he had as a kid alive. I guess you could say the $20 is my gift to his inner child.
If you did the math while reading this blog post, you probably noticed that I actually dished out $78.58 ($18.58 over my $60 gift). I was having so much fun that I just kept on looking for ways and people to help; and, I'll continue to do so.
If you're ever stuck for a gift idea, consider giving a pay-it-forward birthday gift; it's truly a rewarding experience.
$25 went to World Vision Canada to purchase one backpack with school supplies for a Canadian child who lives below the poverty line. According to World Vision Canada, one out of every six Canadian children lives in poverty. Did you have any idea the number was that high? I didn't.
$30 went again to World Vision Canada to purchase three soccer balls to provide school children in developing countries with the gift of play and sport.
$3.58 was spent at Tim Hortons on Camp Day. Profits made on Tim Hortons' Camp Day help send kids (who may otherwise not have the opportunity) to camp. I donated the first $2 of the $3.58 by tossing it into a bucket that a firefighter held out to those waiting in the drive-through line and I gifted the remaining $1.58 by purchasing a coffee for the stranger in the car behind me.
$20 (as I previously wrote in my June Life by Design E-Newsletter) was given to joggler Michal Kapral to acknowledge him for pursuing his joggling passion and to encourage him to take another shot at regaining the world record title—which he'll be doing this September. How does Michal--a grown man--fit into my kid theme? After receiving the money, Michel sent me an email saying that joggling is his way of keeping some of the imagination he had as a kid alive. I guess you could say the $20 is my gift to his inner child.
If you did the math while reading this blog post, you probably noticed that I actually dished out $78.58 ($18.58 over my $60 gift). I was having so much fun that I just kept on looking for ways and people to help; and, I'll continue to do so.
If you're ever stuck for a gift idea, consider giving a pay-it-forward birthday gift; it's truly a rewarding experience.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
What Signs Are Surrounding You?
Here's an amazing story a CALM reader wrote to me--it's truly remarkable:
"About 5-6 months ago, I was at a bookstore searching for help in my life. I'd hit rock bottom! As I scanned through the many self help books, I was overwhelmed with where to start. So I started with "A" and began to read. This went on over a weekend. I needed to get to an appointment, so I put the book I was holding down and walked away.
As I walked away, I kicked a book that was on the floor. It flew across the aisle. As I bent down to pick it up, a store clerk reached down to get it. As I glanced up, a saw a book with a blue cover with the word "CALM" across it. I hurried to catch my bus but that book was on my mind. Weeks later, I went to the store trying to find this book. I knew it was blue but forgot the name of it. The store clerk laughed saying we have lots of blue books.
Then I was on the train. As I was about to sit down, this lady got off and I saw this book again in her clear bag. The doors closed. I went to the next stop, got off, crossed over, and jumped on the next train to go back. I knew that I needed to read this book--too many signs.
I searched all over for this lady. Then suddenly, I saw her walk into a store on Granville Street. I hurried over and asked her about the book…and the rest is history. Since reading your book, my boss and workplace is 90% pleasant and worry-free, my relationship is blossoming, and I have lost 20 pounds to date." -- Roberta Bettenson, Vancouver, B.C.
Wow! What an incredible story. I think Roberta is an excellent example of paying attention to "the signs." I believe when we're searching for solutions to life’s challenges, we're given signs to show us which way to go. What do the signs look like? As I wrote in CALM, the signs "may be found in what a person says to you or something that happens. It may come in the form of something you observe or even what you read."
If you've been searching for hope, solutions, and answers, start looking for the signs because they're there. What signs are surrounding you?
"About 5-6 months ago, I was at a bookstore searching for help in my life. I'd hit rock bottom! As I scanned through the many self help books, I was overwhelmed with where to start. So I started with "A" and began to read. This went on over a weekend. I needed to get to an appointment, so I put the book I was holding down and walked away.
As I walked away, I kicked a book that was on the floor. It flew across the aisle. As I bent down to pick it up, a store clerk reached down to get it. As I glanced up, a saw a book with a blue cover with the word "CALM" across it. I hurried to catch my bus but that book was on my mind. Weeks later, I went to the store trying to find this book. I knew it was blue but forgot the name of it. The store clerk laughed saying we have lots of blue books.
Then I was on the train. As I was about to sit down, this lady got off and I saw this book again in her clear bag. The doors closed. I went to the next stop, got off, crossed over, and jumped on the next train to go back. I knew that I needed to read this book--too many signs.
I searched all over for this lady. Then suddenly, I saw her walk into a store on Granville Street. I hurried over and asked her about the book…and the rest is history. Since reading your book, my boss and workplace is 90% pleasant and worry-free, my relationship is blossoming, and I have lost 20 pounds to date." -- Roberta Bettenson, Vancouver, B.C.
Wow! What an incredible story. I think Roberta is an excellent example of paying attention to "the signs." I believe when we're searching for solutions to life’s challenges, we're given signs to show us which way to go. What do the signs look like? As I wrote in CALM, the signs "may be found in what a person says to you or something that happens. It may come in the form of something you observe or even what you read."
If you've been searching for hope, solutions, and answers, start looking for the signs because they're there. What signs are surrounding you?
Monday, May 7, 2007
Fancy a Pint?
My friend Jim Estill wrote a thought-provoking e-book called Time Leadership: Lessons from a CEO. Jim's book teaches you how to maximize your time to get the most out of every day. In reading it, I learned a 40- to 60-minute goal setting exercise that prompted me to take action this weekend.
Here's a condensed version of the exercise: First, take four blank pages. Second, label each page at the top: Values, Lifetime Goals, Six Months to Live, and One Year Goals. Third, spend about ten minutes on each page listing your Values (family, making a difference, passion, etc.), your Lifetime Goals (those things you want to accomplish, experience, or become during your lifetime), your Six Months to Live goals (all the things you would do if you knew you only had six months left to live), and your One Year Goals (the things you want to accomplish this year.)
The part of the exercise that really made me sit up and pay attention was the Six Months to Live goals. I asked myself, "If I had only six months left to live, what's one thing I would really want to experience?" I knew the answer instantly—vacation in London, England. I've always dreamed of going to England. I've longed to see the Changing of the Guard ceremony at Buckingham Palace, listen to the chimes of Big Ben, and I've even fancied drinking a pint in a pub (and I'm not even a beer drinker!)
So this past Friday, I jumped into action. I booked the flight, I reserved the hotel, and in less than nine weeks, my husband and I will be standing in the middle of my dream. My dream will have become a reality.
Why not take 40 to 60 minutes today and decide what it is you want for your life? What are your values? What do you want to accomplish, experience, or become during your lifetime? If you had only six months to live, what would you do? What do you want to accomplish within the next year?
I've found knowing the answers to those questions can spark passion and infuse excitement into your life. It can help you determine what you really want and what's truly important to you. When you're clear about what you want, you're then able to determine the actions to take to make it happen. This exercise requires a small investment of time but it can make all the difference in the world. Try it yourself. The outcome might surprise you!
Here's a condensed version of the exercise: First, take four blank pages. Second, label each page at the top: Values, Lifetime Goals, Six Months to Live, and One Year Goals. Third, spend about ten minutes on each page listing your Values (family, making a difference, passion, etc.), your Lifetime Goals (those things you want to accomplish, experience, or become during your lifetime), your Six Months to Live goals (all the things you would do if you knew you only had six months left to live), and your One Year Goals (the things you want to accomplish this year.)
The part of the exercise that really made me sit up and pay attention was the Six Months to Live goals. I asked myself, "If I had only six months left to live, what's one thing I would really want to experience?" I knew the answer instantly—vacation in London, England. I've always dreamed of going to England. I've longed to see the Changing of the Guard ceremony at Buckingham Palace, listen to the chimes of Big Ben, and I've even fancied drinking a pint in a pub (and I'm not even a beer drinker!)
So this past Friday, I jumped into action. I booked the flight, I reserved the hotel, and in less than nine weeks, my husband and I will be standing in the middle of my dream. My dream will have become a reality.
Why not take 40 to 60 minutes today and decide what it is you want for your life? What are your values? What do you want to accomplish, experience, or become during your lifetime? If you had only six months to live, what would you do? What do you want to accomplish within the next year?
I've found knowing the answers to those questions can spark passion and infuse excitement into your life. It can help you determine what you really want and what's truly important to you. When you're clear about what you want, you're then able to determine the actions to take to make it happen. This exercise requires a small investment of time but it can make all the difference in the world. Try it yourself. The outcome might surprise you!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
Have you ever been stuck for a gift idea? Here's a story that might solve that challenge for you:
This past weekend I invited three of my friends—Deb, Robin, and Beth—to my house to celebrate Beth's birthday. The previous week, Deb had a brilliant gift idea. She'd suggested that she, Robin, and I each put $20 into a card. The idea was for Beth to give the $60 to any person or charity of her choice. Today Beth told us that she'd decided to donate the money to Dynamic Diva's Moving. It's her friend Shandra's new organization and it moves between 5 and 10 abused women a month from shelters into new homes. Dynamic Diva's Moving has also just started working with the City of Toronto to help move people from homeless shelters into new residences as they become available.
In her email to us this afternoon, Beth wrote: "I called Shandra of Dynamic Diva's Moving today and shared my gift with her. You'll never know just how timely and appreciated it was. I had Jim [Beth's husband] make a contribution and I did too so I was able to give her $100 to make her day and month go just a little bit easier. You are so right . . . how empowering was this???? What an amazing idea!!!!!"
We've made a pact to give the same gift to each of us in our group of four friends this year. I'm so excited to get—and then give—mine. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
This past weekend I invited three of my friends—Deb, Robin, and Beth—to my house to celebrate Beth's birthday. The previous week, Deb had a brilliant gift idea. She'd suggested that she, Robin, and I each put $20 into a card. The idea was for Beth to give the $60 to any person or charity of her choice. Today Beth told us that she'd decided to donate the money to Dynamic Diva's Moving. It's her friend Shandra's new organization and it moves between 5 and 10 abused women a month from shelters into new homes. Dynamic Diva's Moving has also just started working with the City of Toronto to help move people from homeless shelters into new residences as they become available.
In her email to us this afternoon, Beth wrote: "I called Shandra of Dynamic Diva's Moving today and shared my gift with her. You'll never know just how timely and appreciated it was. I had Jim [Beth's husband] make a contribution and I did too so I was able to give her $100 to make her day and month go just a little bit easier. You are so right . . . how empowering was this???? What an amazing idea!!!!!"
We've made a pact to give the same gift to each of us in our group of four friends this year. I'm so excited to get—and then give—mine. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Boost Your Mood by Eliminating Aspartame
In my last message, I promised to keep you posted as to what happened in the next nine days of my vacation in Ft. Lauderdale. Yes, more professional surprises came my way. One of those surprises was from the Times Colonist (Victoria, BC); they featured CALM by publishing the review Monique Polak wrote for The Gazette (Montreal) in their newspaper.
I also learned some surprising information about aspartame. I've known aspartame is not the healthiest thing to ingest but I didn't know exactly what it did. So, I continued to consume it—until now.
According to Ann Louise Gittleman, M.S., C.N.S., author of The Fat Flush Plan, aspartame can suppress production of serotonin. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter (body chemical) that can help reduce depression and make you feel peaceful and euphoric. If you're feeling stressed and worried, try eliminating aspartame from your diet.
Aspartame can also cause you to gain weight. Gittleman writes, "The mere taste of such a concentrated sweetener appears to set an instinctual insulin mechanism into place even though aspartame contains zero calories. A six-year study of 80,000 women shows that the higher the artificial sweetener consumption, the more likely the women were to pack on the pounds."
In addition to reading The Fat Flush Plan while on holiday, I also discovered more information about aspartame in Candace Pert’s book Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d. In one section of her book, Pert writes about a young woman named Cori Brackett: "Cori told me the story of how she'd gradually lost all mobility in her limbs over a few months' time and had become confined to a wheelchair. Her diagnosis was a fast-moving form of multiple sclerosis, which didn't seem right to her. Acting on instinct, she gave up her habit of two to three cans a day of diet soda and abruptly began to improve."
Yikes! Aspartame throws serotonin levels out of balance, causes you to pack on the pounds, has caused a misdiagnosis of multiple sclerosis; and the list of negative side effects goes on and on. Does that convince you to eliminate aspartame from your diet or at least reduce the amount you consume? It sure convinced me!
I firmly believe that you don't erase a habit, you replace a habit. What can you replace your sweetener with? Try Stevia. Stevia is a natural sweetener extracted from the Stevia plant. You can pick it up at any health food store. (It tastes like licorice to me.) Try it yourself and do your body a favor!
I also learned some surprising information about aspartame. I've known aspartame is not the healthiest thing to ingest but I didn't know exactly what it did. So, I continued to consume it—until now.
According to Ann Louise Gittleman, M.S., C.N.S., author of The Fat Flush Plan, aspartame can suppress production of serotonin. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter (body chemical) that can help reduce depression and make you feel peaceful and euphoric. If you're feeling stressed and worried, try eliminating aspartame from your diet.
Aspartame can also cause you to gain weight. Gittleman writes, "The mere taste of such a concentrated sweetener appears to set an instinctual insulin mechanism into place even though aspartame contains zero calories. A six-year study of 80,000 women shows that the higher the artificial sweetener consumption, the more likely the women were to pack on the pounds."
In addition to reading The Fat Flush Plan while on holiday, I also discovered more information about aspartame in Candace Pert’s book Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d. In one section of her book, Pert writes about a young woman named Cori Brackett: "Cori told me the story of how she'd gradually lost all mobility in her limbs over a few months' time and had become confined to a wheelchair. Her diagnosis was a fast-moving form of multiple sclerosis, which didn't seem right to her. Acting on instinct, she gave up her habit of two to three cans a day of diet soda and abruptly began to improve."
Yikes! Aspartame throws serotonin levels out of balance, causes you to pack on the pounds, has caused a misdiagnosis of multiple sclerosis; and the list of negative side effects goes on and on. Does that convince you to eliminate aspartame from your diet or at least reduce the amount you consume? It sure convinced me!
I firmly believe that you don't erase a habit, you replace a habit. What can you replace your sweetener with? Try Stevia. Stevia is a natural sweetener extracted from the Stevia plant. You can pick it up at any health food store. (It tastes like licorice to me.) Try it yourself and do your body a favor!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Drop the Banana
I'm in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida on a two-week vacation with my family. Amazing things happen professionally when I'm away on holiday; and they're happening on this trip, too. It's only "day five" and so far I've received bookings for several new speaking engagements, firmed up a few tentative bookings, and had an email from my publicist at Raincoast Books to let me know that The Gazette (Montreal) published a review of my book CALM on March 10, 2007. (You can read the full review at the bottom of this blog.)
The amazing part of it is I'm not actively doing anything to make these things happen. I'm not making phone calls or writing emails, yet it seems as though every time I'm on holiday, business starts moving and things that were stuck begin to flow again.
On this particular trip, I finally asked myself, "Why? Why does business pick up when I temporarily put it down?" I found the answer in the question: I temporarily put it down. In other words, I let it go. I let go of the to-do lists, schedules, phone calls, and emails (okay maybe not the emails. I enjoy checking email but I do let go of the feeling that I must respond immediately to every request.)
It's kind of like the monkey Martha Beck writes about in her article "The Panic Button" in the April 2007 edition of O Magazine. Beck writes: "I've heard you can trap a monkey by putting a banana in a jar, then punching a hole in the lid just wide enough for the animal's hand – not wide enough, that is, for the hand plus a banana. The monkey's refusal to release the banana is what keeps it stuck."
If you're feeling stuck personally and/or professionally in your life, maybe you need to "drop the banana." Maybe it's time to let go. Does that mean you give up on what you desire for your life? No. Believe me, I'm enjoying my vacation and I intend to work full-out on my business when I return. It just means that sometimes you need to let go of the banana and pull your hand out of the jar in order to discover that all you really had to do to claim your prize was to screw off the lid. Sometimes letting go also makes you realize that you really prefer apples to bananas! It's amazing how a little time and space can free you up to receive new ideas, insights, and perspectives.
As for me, I've still got nine more days of vacation left. I'm looking forward to discovering the amazing things that will happen next. I'll keep you posted!
In the meantime, here is the review from The Gazette (Montreal)
How to stop worrying about the 'what-ifs ... ?'
The Gazette (Montreal)
Sat 10 Mar 2007
Page: J8Section: Weekend: BooksByline: MONIQUE POLAK
"What if ... ?" is a worrier's favourite question. What if a drunk driver runs into my teenager? What if I can't get all my work done on time? What if all this worrying prevents me from falling back to sleep?
Ontario motivational speaker Denise Marek describes herself as a former worrier, now transformed into a "warrior." In Calm, she shares simple, sensible strategies for overcoming worry. Using an acronym, a standard convention in the self-help biz, Marek advises worriers to practise CALM: Challenge their assumptions, Act to control the controllable, Let go of the uncontrollable and Master their minds.
Challenging assumptions means rating the likelihood that something you're worrying about - your plane crashing, for instance - will actually happen.
Differentiating between factors we have some control over (such as insisting our teenagers use designated drivers) and those we cannot (such as bad weather) can help alleviate worry.
Marek provides a lengthy list of mind-mastering techniques. She suggests we allot ourselves 10 to 15 minutes to worry daily, and that rocking the body can soothe a worried mind. There's no upside to worrying. And perhaps Marek is right: Worrying might just be a bad habit, not a chronic condition.
The amazing part of it is I'm not actively doing anything to make these things happen. I'm not making phone calls or writing emails, yet it seems as though every time I'm on holiday, business starts moving and things that were stuck begin to flow again.
On this particular trip, I finally asked myself, "Why? Why does business pick up when I temporarily put it down?" I found the answer in the question: I temporarily put it down. In other words, I let it go. I let go of the to-do lists, schedules, phone calls, and emails (okay maybe not the emails. I enjoy checking email but I do let go of the feeling that I must respond immediately to every request.)
It's kind of like the monkey Martha Beck writes about in her article "The Panic Button" in the April 2007 edition of O Magazine. Beck writes: "I've heard you can trap a monkey by putting a banana in a jar, then punching a hole in the lid just wide enough for the animal's hand – not wide enough, that is, for the hand plus a banana. The monkey's refusal to release the banana is what keeps it stuck."
If you're feeling stuck personally and/or professionally in your life, maybe you need to "drop the banana." Maybe it's time to let go. Does that mean you give up on what you desire for your life? No. Believe me, I'm enjoying my vacation and I intend to work full-out on my business when I return. It just means that sometimes you need to let go of the banana and pull your hand out of the jar in order to discover that all you really had to do to claim your prize was to screw off the lid. Sometimes letting go also makes you realize that you really prefer apples to bananas! It's amazing how a little time and space can free you up to receive new ideas, insights, and perspectives.
As for me, I've still got nine more days of vacation left. I'm looking forward to discovering the amazing things that will happen next. I'll keep you posted!
In the meantime, here is the review from The Gazette (Montreal)
How to stop worrying about the 'what-ifs ... ?'
The Gazette (Montreal)
Sat 10 Mar 2007
Page: J8Section: Weekend: BooksByline: MONIQUE POLAK
"What if ... ?" is a worrier's favourite question. What if a drunk driver runs into my teenager? What if I can't get all my work done on time? What if all this worrying prevents me from falling back to sleep?
Ontario motivational speaker Denise Marek describes herself as a former worrier, now transformed into a "warrior." In Calm, she shares simple, sensible strategies for overcoming worry. Using an acronym, a standard convention in the self-help biz, Marek advises worriers to practise CALM: Challenge their assumptions, Act to control the controllable, Let go of the uncontrollable and Master their minds.
Challenging assumptions means rating the likelihood that something you're worrying about - your plane crashing, for instance - will actually happen.
Differentiating between factors we have some control over (such as insisting our teenagers use designated drivers) and those we cannot (such as bad weather) can help alleviate worry.
Marek provides a lengthy list of mind-mastering techniques. She suggests we allot ourselves 10 to 15 minutes to worry daily, and that rocking the body can soothe a worried mind. There's no upside to worrying. And perhaps Marek is right: Worrying might just be a bad habit, not a chronic condition.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Salsa Anyone?
On Friday night, my husband turned to me and asked, "Why didn't we do that ten years ago?" We were on our way home from our first private dance lesson and we'd had a blast! We've talked about learning how to salsa, meringue, and swing dance for years and now we're finally following through on that goal. (And, we've been dancing around the house all weekend practicing our steps.)
So why didn't we learn how to dance ten years ago? Probably for the same reason many people don't act upon their aspirations—it's easy not to. This is a concept Jim Rohn discusses in his audio program The Art of Exceptional Living. He explains that taking action is easy to do and it's easy not to do. He also suggests: "Walk away from the 97% crowd. Don't use their excuses. Take charge of your own life."
Here's something for you to think about this week: If you were to let go of your excuses and join the 3% who do, what actions would you take? As for me, I'm going to take my second dance lesson with my husband. As we salsa, meringue, and swing around the dance floor I'll be reminded that while both taking steps toward my goals and doing nothing are easy—taking action is much more rewarding!
So why didn't we learn how to dance ten years ago? Probably for the same reason many people don't act upon their aspirations—it's easy not to. This is a concept Jim Rohn discusses in his audio program The Art of Exceptional Living. He explains that taking action is easy to do and it's easy not to do. He also suggests: "Walk away from the 97% crowd. Don't use their excuses. Take charge of your own life."
Here's something for you to think about this week: If you were to let go of your excuses and join the 3% who do, what actions would you take? As for me, I'm going to take my second dance lesson with my husband. As we salsa, meringue, and swing around the dance floor I'll be reminded that while both taking steps toward my goals and doing nothing are easy—taking action is much more rewarding!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
How the Heck Did I Get Here?
I’ve immersed myself in serenity and beauty today at Verity Club. My good friend Robin Dines (owner of the fabulous Hillcrest Valenova Spa in Port Hope, Ontario) invited me to the club for a visit earlier this month; I instantly fell in love with the place and became a member the very next day.
Verity gives me the chance to connect with like-minded, professional women, it offers mastermind mentoring circles, a gorgeous on-site spa, sumptuous food, business facilities, and even napping rooms—and I do enjoy the occasional mid-day nap!
Today, as I sit here in the midst of flourishing bamboo plants, enjoying the floral smell that permeates the air, listening to soothing music, sipping my frothy cappuccino, and reflecting on the thought-provoking conversation I had during lunch with my friend Beth McBlain (owner and editor of Luxe Magazine) at George Restaurant next door, I can’t help but ask myself: How the heck did I get here?
The answer is simple: I manifested it. I attracted it into my life with my thoughts. You see, Verity is exactly what I've been wanting and needing to move my career—and myself—to the next level of success. Thinking about it wasn’t the only factor that brought me to this place though—I also had to take action. I first had to accept the invitation from Robin. I then had to leave the warmth of my home on a cold evening. Finally, I had to see the opportunity of joining Verity and seize it. I’m glad I did.
If there’s something you want for your life—manifest it! Know exactly what you want and then act on opportunity. Life is truly abundant. Make your life a joyous one filled with everything you desire.
Verity gives me the chance to connect with like-minded, professional women, it offers mastermind mentoring circles, a gorgeous on-site spa, sumptuous food, business facilities, and even napping rooms—and I do enjoy the occasional mid-day nap!
Today, as I sit here in the midst of flourishing bamboo plants, enjoying the floral smell that permeates the air, listening to soothing music, sipping my frothy cappuccino, and reflecting on the thought-provoking conversation I had during lunch with my friend Beth McBlain (owner and editor of Luxe Magazine) at George Restaurant next door, I can’t help but ask myself: How the heck did I get here?
The answer is simple: I manifested it. I attracted it into my life with my thoughts. You see, Verity is exactly what I've been wanting and needing to move my career—and myself—to the next level of success. Thinking about it wasn’t the only factor that brought me to this place though—I also had to take action. I first had to accept the invitation from Robin. I then had to leave the warmth of my home on a cold evening. Finally, I had to see the opportunity of joining Verity and seize it. I’m glad I did.
If there’s something you want for your life—manifest it! Know exactly what you want and then act on opportunity. Life is truly abundant. Make your life a joyous one filled with everything you desire.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Here's to New Experiences
I had a new experience this past Saturday—I sat in as “guest author” on a book club meeting. The members of the book club have been meeting for twelve years and I found them to be an intelligent, fun, and well-educated group. It was a gift to be able to attend their meeting, listen to their feedback, and answer their questions about CALM. I’m glad I said “yes” to the event.
Several years ago, before I was an author myself, I belonged to a book club. While I’m no longer in a book club, I’m still an avid reader. The most recent book I’ve read is Mitch Albom’s book For One More Day (Hyperion, 2006). I enjoyed it and found gems of wisdom in its pages. Here are two passages that I found insightful:
One: “I met a man once who did a lot of mountain climbing. I asked him which was harder, ascending or descending? He said without a doubt descending, because ascending you were so focused on reaching the top, you avoided mistakes. ‘The backside of a mountain is a fight against human nature,’ he said. ‘You have to care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up.’” I believe that’s advice we all need to remember. On your journey of life, always remember to care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up—you really do deserve it!
Two: “Don’t ever tell a child something’s too hard.” This is important because our thoughts become things. If you tell a child something’s too hard, that child will eventually buy into it and give up. As a result, the belief becomes a reality. Take a moment today to reflect back on your own life. Have you given up on a goal or dream because someone has told you it’s too hard to do or it’s impossible to achieve? Think again. Begin to believe that it is possible and that you can do it—allow these new beliefs to become your reality.
As you go about your life this week: 1) Say “yes” to a new experience, 2) Care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up, and 3) Believe you can achieve your heart’s desires.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
The Caffeine Debate
CALM is spreading! On Saturday, February 10, 2007, Toronto Star columnist Susan Shaw featured my book CALM - A Proven Four-Step Process Designed Specifically for Women Who Worry in her book review. In the article, Shaw writes, "Denise Marek understands what feeds my anxieties and gives me tools to feel better." (Click here for the full article.)
Do you know what feeds your anxieties? One culprit is caffeine. If you, like me, are a coffee-lover, this might not be the best news you’ve heard today. However, you don’t have to give it up completely to feel less stressed. As outlined in CALM: “Studies have shown that one or two six-ounce cups of coffee each day will have little effect on the cardiovascular system—but be careful! That third cup can end up increasing your worry, stress, and anxiety levels.”
Yet, caffeine has a good side too. According to Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen in their book, YOU The Owners Manual, “There have been enough studies performed that we can say that drinking twenty-four ounces of coffee a day decreases your risk of Parkinson’s disease by 40 percent and your risk of Alzheimer’s disease by about 20 percent.”
What should you do? It depends on your goal and your body. If your goal is to reduce anxiety and you find that caffeine makes you jittery, reduce your intake. If it seems to have little or no effect on you, go ahead and enjoy your coffee. . . . in moderation.
Do you know what feeds your anxieties? One culprit is caffeine. If you, like me, are a coffee-lover, this might not be the best news you’ve heard today. However, you don’t have to give it up completely to feel less stressed. As outlined in CALM: “Studies have shown that one or two six-ounce cups of coffee each day will have little effect on the cardiovascular system—but be careful! That third cup can end up increasing your worry, stress, and anxiety levels.”
Yet, caffeine has a good side too. According to Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen in their book, YOU The Owners Manual, “There have been enough studies performed that we can say that drinking twenty-four ounces of coffee a day decreases your risk of Parkinson’s disease by 40 percent and your risk of Alzheimer’s disease by about 20 percent.”
What should you do? It depends on your goal and your body. If your goal is to reduce anxiety and you find that caffeine makes you jittery, reduce your intake. If it seems to have little or no effect on you, go ahead and enjoy your coffee. . . . in moderation.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Leadership
On Saturday I spoke at a conference on “Leading through Service to our Community.” The first speaker was Christopher White, author of Seismic Shifts—Leading in Times of Change.
I enjoyed his keynote immensely. Here are some of the key concepts I came away with:
- It’s not a problem, it’s a puzzle. How can you solve the puzzle?
- Every leader learns through rejection and what does not work.
- Lead by example. Make sure that what people see is what they get. In other words, be yourself. You don’t need to be perfect.
As you go about your life this week, look at your problems as puzzles and think of creative ways to solve those puzzles. If you encounter rejection or make a mistake, congratulate yourself—it means you’re taking chances. Then, adjust your actions until you get the results you were looking for. Finally be authentic and aim for progress not perfection.
Thank you to Christopher White, for inspiring people to become genuine, authentic leaders. Our culture hungers for it.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Attract Abundance
I was in my car on the corner of a busy intersection, watching the line of cars stopped at a stoplight. Two teen-aged boys sat in the first car stopped at the light. The teen in the passenger seat threw a soda can out of his window. Immediately after, the driver in the car behind the teens jumped out of his vehicle, picked up the can, tossed it through the teenager’s window, and got back into his car. The light turned green and they all drove away.
The scene fascinated me and it got me pondering the moral of the story. The moral that stands out the most for me is: Only throw out what you wouldn’t mind having thrown back at you. I’m not talking about trash per se; I’m talking about things like words and actions. What if every word you spoke and action you took was tossed back at you? Would you be a little more careful about what you said and did?
I believe that’s precisely what happens. For instance, reflect on a time when you did or said something negative to someone else. Did you feel happy in return? Probably not. On the other hand, when you did or said something positive to another, did you feel good? You probably did. It’s almost impossible not to. Lift someone else up and you lift yourself up in the process. In essence, what you dish out you also get back. It’s like throwing a boomerang—when you throw it away, it returns.
Use this boomerang effect to attract abundance into your life. From love to wealth—and everything in between—get it by giving it away. Deepak Chopra in his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success sums this concept up beautifully. He writes “Practicing the Law of Giving is actually very simple: if you want joy, give joy to others; if you want love, learn to give love; if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give attention and appreciation; if you want material affluence, help others to become materially affluent.”
What have you been hoping to get more of in your life? Look for ways to start giving the things you are searching for to others. As for those things you’d rather not attract, make sure you’re not throwing them out—because you never know who’s waiting right behind you, ready to toss them back.
© 2007 Denise Marek
The scene fascinated me and it got me pondering the moral of the story. The moral that stands out the most for me is: Only throw out what you wouldn’t mind having thrown back at you. I’m not talking about trash per se; I’m talking about things like words and actions. What if every word you spoke and action you took was tossed back at you? Would you be a little more careful about what you said and did?
I believe that’s precisely what happens. For instance, reflect on a time when you did or said something negative to someone else. Did you feel happy in return? Probably not. On the other hand, when you did or said something positive to another, did you feel good? You probably did. It’s almost impossible not to. Lift someone else up and you lift yourself up in the process. In essence, what you dish out you also get back. It’s like throwing a boomerang—when you throw it away, it returns.
Use this boomerang effect to attract abundance into your life. From love to wealth—and everything in between—get it by giving it away. Deepak Chopra in his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success sums this concept up beautifully. He writes “Practicing the Law of Giving is actually very simple: if you want joy, give joy to others; if you want love, learn to give love; if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give attention and appreciation; if you want material affluence, help others to become materially affluent.”
What have you been hoping to get more of in your life? Look for ways to start giving the things you are searching for to others. As for those things you’d rather not attract, make sure you’re not throwing them out—because you never know who’s waiting right behind you, ready to toss them back.
© 2007 Denise Marek
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Up and Blogging Again
I’ve had a few challenges logging in on my own blog; however, thanks to my good friend Jim Estill, I’m up and running once again. By the way, Jim’s blog is a must read—he’s a Time Leadership expert and his strategies are fantastic!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Success - Seeing is Achieving
Visualize what you want and those mental pictures can help your goals become a reality. How? The mental images create the feelings that compel you to take action. Those actions then propel you toward your goal and the result is the manifestation of your desires.
One of the most profound examples of successful visualization that I’ve experienced occurred when I decided to write and publish a book how to stop worrying. To see what I intended to accomplish, I created a mock cover of my book with PowerPoint and wrapped it around a book that I figured was the same size mine would be once it was published. I brought my model book to a bookstore, put it on a shelf under the “Self Help” sign, and took a photograph of it. I had the photo developed, put it in a frame, and kept it on my desk where I could look at it daily.
The picture of that book—both the one on my desk and the one in my mind’s eye—kept me excited and on track. The result? My book—CALM: A Proven Four-Step Process Designed for Women Who Worry—is now available in bookstores. Even more astonishing is that it has exactly the same number of pages as the book I used with my mock cover!
Why is visualization effective? A clear mental picture gives you the confidence that what you’re trying to achieve is possible. Combine that confidence with action and your vision becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take, for instance, a study done by psychologist Darrell J. Burnett. It’s a popular study, yet it’s worth repeating. Dr. Burnett took three groups of people and had them make free throws on a basketball court. The scores of each group were gathered and the participants were sent home with the following assignments: Group One was to practise their free throws every day for two weeks. Group Two was not to practise at all. Group Three was to visualize making free throws for 10 minutes each day for two weeks; they weren’t to touch a real ball, but were to visualize making the shot and sinking the ball every time.
Two weeks later, everyone gathered together for retesting. The results were shocking! Group One improved their score by 25%. Group Two didn’t improve. Group Three improved by a whopping 23%.
If there’s something you want for your life, manifest it by visualizing it. To achieve a greater level of fitness, picture yourself exercising with a strong and lean body. To transition into a different career, mentally picture yourself excelling in your new position. When you see it you’ll begin to believe it and when you believe it, you’ll achieve it.
Make your goals a reality. Know what you want, imprint a clear mental picture of it in your mind, and never allow that picture to fade—then, as Norman Vincent Peale said, “Your mind will seek to develop the picture.” Seeing really is achieving.
One of the most profound examples of successful visualization that I’ve experienced occurred when I decided to write and publish a book how to stop worrying. To see what I intended to accomplish, I created a mock cover of my book with PowerPoint and wrapped it around a book that I figured was the same size mine would be once it was published. I brought my model book to a bookstore, put it on a shelf under the “Self Help” sign, and took a photograph of it. I had the photo developed, put it in a frame, and kept it on my desk where I could look at it daily.
The picture of that book—both the one on my desk and the one in my mind’s eye—kept me excited and on track. The result? My book—CALM: A Proven Four-Step Process Designed for Women Who Worry—is now available in bookstores. Even more astonishing is that it has exactly the same number of pages as the book I used with my mock cover!
Why is visualization effective? A clear mental picture gives you the confidence that what you’re trying to achieve is possible. Combine that confidence with action and your vision becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take, for instance, a study done by psychologist Darrell J. Burnett. It’s a popular study, yet it’s worth repeating. Dr. Burnett took three groups of people and had them make free throws on a basketball court. The scores of each group were gathered and the participants were sent home with the following assignments: Group One was to practise their free throws every day for two weeks. Group Two was not to practise at all. Group Three was to visualize making free throws for 10 minutes each day for two weeks; they weren’t to touch a real ball, but were to visualize making the shot and sinking the ball every time.
Two weeks later, everyone gathered together for retesting. The results were shocking! Group One improved their score by 25%. Group Two didn’t improve. Group Three improved by a whopping 23%.
If there’s something you want for your life, manifest it by visualizing it. To achieve a greater level of fitness, picture yourself exercising with a strong and lean body. To transition into a different career, mentally picture yourself excelling in your new position. When you see it you’ll begin to believe it and when you believe it, you’ll achieve it.
Make your goals a reality. Know what you want, imprint a clear mental picture of it in your mind, and never allow that picture to fade—then, as Norman Vincent Peale said, “Your mind will seek to develop the picture.” Seeing really is achieving.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
First Post
Welcome to my new blog. This is my first post. Many more to come. I am grateful to Jim Estill for helping me set this up.
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